Words without a Voice

3 minute read

A desolate voice appears in my soul during the night, and before your image, words lose their reason to be spoken. Unheard vibrations resound in the depths, yet only inaudible sounds enter my thoughts. Even if I heard something, it would be without meaning.

I try to say something, but the voice can no longer appear. My thoughts remain silent, watching your image pierce my soul, while a deep wound has lain within my heart for far too long.

It is not there because I wanted it or because I deserved it. It is there simply because this is how things are. The past wrote its history into the present of my soul, while no one knows to whom the future belongs.

Strangely, I feel neither regret nor despair, no desire for a different life, not even a desire to continue what once existed, because I understand that it would all have been without meaning. Two destinies may move in the same direction or in different ones, but the soul can follow only its own path.

Only silence sounds familiar to me, because lived experience is born from silence, and love from lived experience. Love alone still weeps for the story that was torn apart, at a certain moment and for various reasons that belong only to us.

We can never blame love for giving us the spark when we were the ones who reduced the fire to ashes.

I can speak with "you" at any time, but without words, only through the eyes. They alone still know how to whisper beautiful things and make the inner world tremble. The voice within has existed for too long to become voiceless, but the outer voice has lost the sound of the words that should be spoken.

I would like to say that love still exists - the love that many people do not understand, although it affects their lives. But love has merged with pain and become wounded love, wounded by the longing that once gave it existence.

I see that, when one day we all suffer in this way, we will know why. Love never takes revenge for our failure to respect its existence and its gift, but our soul cannot remain for long without its caress. It will become desolate, while thought runs so wildly that suffering becomes the only thing we continue to share within existence.

If you love and are loved, do not let a single moment pass without giving yourself still more fully to love. Cast everything outside it from your humble existence and thank heaven that divinity has received you at its breast.

Above all, do not surrender to the desire for material things. Turn ever more deeply towards the soul, and then happiness may give the code of its existence to your life at any time, even in a single instant.

The soul needs no words to express its love, because the primordial sound is its very existence. That sound cannot be spoken, only revealed.

When you close your eyes and the inner sound is disclosed, it will be the first sign that you have connected with the reality within. It will no longer be merely a story, an illusion or a dream, but the reality of your existence - your leap into the void.

First published in Romanian on 30 January 2011. This English translation preserves the perspective of that period.

Original Romanian article: Cuvinte fără glas.