Jealousy

3 minute read

Most of us believe jealousy provides the salt and pepper in a relationship, especially between people who love each other. I believe jealousy shows humanity's failure to evolve.

The jealous person remains at a selfish and possessive stage, believing that another human being belongs to them and must be theirs alone, treating that person like any other object in their life.

In general, women are more jealous because they fear losing the beloved's attention or, worse, being abandoned. Yet the reality is exactly the reverse.

Most men respect what they have at home, especially when the relationship contains understanding and respect, while a woman does not have the same principles. If an opportunity appears, she becomes emotionally involved and most often commits herself completely to that relationship, even if it is not what she truly wants, because in her eyes it gives her passion.

In civilised countries, the couple has in most cases advanced to another level. Routine naturally appears after a certain time. Stress may make you desire something that takes you out of your mind, and above all you wish to experience what pleases you.

This is how open relationships appeared, allowing partners to discuss openly what they like or dislike and whether they are attracted to someone else.

Emotional involvement remains the greatest danger in every case because it implies that one partner may go mad and cease wanting what they possessed before.

The traditional mentality in which a man suffered no damage to his image when he cheated while a woman was criticised was based upon the belief that women become emotionally involved in casual relationships and often even abandon their children.

In our century, however, women have increasingly assumed roles once reserved for men. Relationships must therefore be reconsidered and adapted to the needs of present society. Men will assume some of women's tasks, and women some of men's.

Love has a major role in this equation. Yet while no one perceives the puppeteer behind events and people remain willing puppets in destiny's hands, relationships will continue to suffer.

When you truly love, you can move beyond anything. The past ceases to matter, and jealousy begins disappearing because you desire the happiness of the person you love and therefore respect them more deeply.

Naturally, this becomes possible when both partners respect the same principles. When you wish to remain beside the person you love, obstacles do not exist.

Love must come first in absolutely every action you undertake. Only then can the future contain peace and understanding. Otherwise, you will suffer until you understand. The sooner you do, the more future suffering you can prevent.

God is Love. Because human beings are selfish, they do not respect what is eternal and what makes the soul happy. First, they fail to respect their own souls, and still less the souls of others.

They will always retreat, claiming they are incapable of love at such a high level. Yet from the moment they felt even the faintest trace of love, the seed had already been planted. What they lacked was the desire to devote themselves to it, because something else came first.

Everywhere around me, I have seen most people place money first. Some will say this is untrue, but even the desire for professional success ultimately leads in the same direction.

It has long been known that money does not bring happiness, and even science has begun to recognise this. Money brings peace to a person's life, but neither happiness nor fulfilment.

This is natural because the soul needs something entirely different. If we do not believe in our soul, how could we believe in what makes it happy?

Jealousy does not belong to love. It is a feeling like anger or hatred. A jealous person may cause great harm and make life unbearable for the person whom they once told, "My life cannot exist without you."

Jealousy is the seed of evil before it germinates. From there, only one step separates it from hatred or uncontrolled rage. A single moment of madness is enough to destroy the beloved's life.

You believe jealousy proves that you love, but in truth you do not truly love.

True love requires far more: time, understanding, difficulties and respect. Above all, it requires you to perceive and honour the divine within what you feel.

First published in Romanian on 23 July 2010. This English translation preserves the perspective of that period.

Original Romanian article: Gelozia.