Mea Culpa to Destiny

3 minute read

The clock turns, and every moment leaves a deep or shallow mark upon each person's destiny. My moments within the present destiny are approaching their end, making room for another destiny that I have avoided for a long time.

As someone once said, it is time for me to stop dreaming. The world does not want love. It wants suffering and unhappiness. Anything is far better than the lived experience of love.

I ask forgiveness from my friends, acquaintances and relatives, from everyone I know and everyone I no longer remember, if through my deeds, words or actions I caused them suffering or upset them in any way. It was not my will, but destiny's.

Just as I have forgiven, and continue to forgive, everything destiny causes me, I hope that whatever my destiny has given will not cause pain to anyone else.

I ask forgiveness from those whom I loved or who loved me if I brought them unhappiness or sorrow. I always wanted everyone to be happy, but I cannot make that happen. Each person sleeps as they make their bed.

If I have, or once had, enemies, I ask their forgiveness as well. Above all, I ask forgiveness from my heart and from the soul, or souls, whom I loved or who loved me more or less deeply, as God allowed.

If shadows of love remain within the hearts of those I loved, but they renounced the lived experience of love in order to fulfil a material or professional destiny, one day they will understand what they lost. They lost eternity. They lost the peace of the soul.

But who knows? God gives us lessons in evolution in many forms. Perhaps every evil does ultimately serve the good. Suffering means evolution, while happiness makes you forget the soul and forget God. I mean material happiness, because the happiness of the soul lies beyond it.

This is not a farewell message. It is a message of renunciation: I renounce everything destiny has given me until now, the good and the bad alike.

If what was placed within my heart and left by me in a book contains even a small measure of truth, if what was written and revealed there is true, then one day it will be valued and understood. Above all, each of us will understand how it is that God is LOVE.

God remains hidden within every heart and needs only to be discovered and revealed. Yet this requires much prayer, devotion and faith, as well as that small measure of luck that I also call destiny.

I have renounced destiny several times, and each time another destiny was offered, naturally connected with the one before it. My heart is what binds each of these smaller destinies within the greater one.

I call it renunciation because you may renounce a home, a car, wealth, family, children or a wife, but you may also consciously renounce a destiny, the path offered at a particular moment.

Destiny is a labyrinth in which you may find an escape or lose yourself forever. The escape is faith in God and in the soul. Everything else merely makes you forget them.

I have a dream: that all humanity might taste, for even one moment, the love God concealed within existence. May each of us discover the God within and give themselves to the lived experience of love.

If this remains only a dream, time will reveal it. If it is more than a dream, humanity will discover that as well.

Into Your hands, LOVE, I give my soul. Care for it, or use it as You believe best for my destiny or the destinies of others, but never allow it to forget lived experience and prayer.

Lord, help us.

First published in Romanian on 4 November 2010. This English translation preserves the perspective of that period.

Original Romanian article: Mea Culpa Destinului.